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Sometimes I just leave something as it is. I don´t correct. I actually preserve the wrongness of something. Because it is just something, without any major cause, except the impact on my compulsive sense for order and desire for symmetry. Structure. Not to bother or having to take care of. All in place. I can only enjoy my workoholic if the world is operative. And my world doesn´t need me as its creator. So I am standing in the bathroom, peeing, my back problems demand its sacrifices, and looking at the razor, 2 o`clock, right next to face, right in my face, flashing in excitement, signaling the battery is charged, take me off! and I decide not, just because I can, I can succeed, I can overcome concepts and its manuals. Leave it there until I might feel ready to, leave it behind, unsolved, displaced, inoperable. Like a god´s dying immortality. What a good feeling, just to say no, reject the necessitative attention, say no to routine! So proud of… until I realise how silly this game is as it only affects anything else but not me, except the higher electricity bill for this month.

But talking about god, this foolish minority disappointing sort of tragic figure of men´s rise and fall, try and error, fail and mistaken… I could follow his guidance, a religion and put all my emotional confusion and ethical lostness in this vessel of mendacity. Is belief a misunderstood addiction to escape the true brutally scarred face of men, the evolution of the invention world, we are crawling through, our senses bubbling in thick blood? The addiction to have purpose, to matter. That all this sacrifices and casualties are not for nothing. I suppose religion is the worse dirtiest addiction of all times. How much blood it already shed. You coud paint the universe red with. How many lost souls it condemned to be forgotten. How much pain and greed… insincere history it installed to secure its survival. How many life forms it deformed. Hence again, it lives, it kept alive by choices, made by braindead humans. Dumb as fuck. I guess I stick to drugs.