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It´s judgement time. NGOs – collecting pound for western dropouts and volunteering greenness. After more than 6 months staying in Cambodia, mostly Siem Reap, so my horizon is a bit of narrow, granted, but even though my minds are struggling in anger. I might be polemic, dragged downwards, with all your furious enthusiasm working for good. I might not be in the position to accuse, but to reflect, necessarily, urgently, to learn – what, and this is one of the worst facts about, you don´t, you people of rusty hearts and shredded qualification, arriving in the southeast, in third world countries, and managing out of a sudden programms, projects or whole companies, so called non-government organizations. You never heard about? Oh yes, indeed, a NGO is a business. Surprise! If so for you, don´t read further, close the window, you never opened one anyway. Educating poverty for independence doesn´t increase the capacity of a NGO, but of their clients. Loosing a client means loosing money. No money, no business. It´s a deal, serving both sides? Seriously? Doesn´t serve poverty your prosperity sufficiently? If you don´t want to loose, share your benefit, you shouldn´t have opened this window. You are still working for your advantages and only for, everything else is rethorical.
There is a difference between help and helping, seriously, yes, wow, you heard about harming people, a generation and the next by your stupidity? I know I am unfair, poor dear. Tissues?
Help has so many demands. Your fucking mission is basically to be aware of, even if you are too shallow minded to combine, to transform, to modulate, to adapt your idea of help to the surrounding, to its needs, on a political, psychological, sociological and finally sustainable level. As I mentioned before, raging anger is chasing me, my sanity and in my dreams. I am sorry if I offend with this article – actually I am not, if I hurt your feelings, but you are offending people, provinces, a country, in such a destructive way. You are the anti-development force. You are the minus way. And your ignorance doesn´t protect you. Sorry. I pitty the third world, exploited and devastated by us, by you, and now they have to rely on you, trust your knowledge, your unforgivable private deficiency. You felt ashamed in your home-country, of the politics, of the fact that we are living in a fenced, protected by modern colonialism, wonderland? Still. You want to give something in return? Sacrifice your wealth and security – controlled and always a plan b in your pocket, better if though, don´t fuck it more up with being stucked exploiting their goodness… hell of a storm in my veins! Writing, assorting my fury, express this trap in words, finding words for it, without cursing by each letter, is bothering me the last days intensively and emotionally. I am loosing my aquired kindness, my positivism and my language, so excuse my spontaneous outbreak on the lines, between the dots. – You can not do something good without doing bad. In fact. But you can make it more worst.

If you don´t have experience in managing, setting up programms or projects, just don´t. You haven´t been able to do this in your home-country? Oh here your knowledge is good enough to actuate, in particular your ego? Ask yourself why? Maybe you don´t have the qualification? Maybe you are not open-minded enough? Maybe you are a lazy bulock, covering your desires, fucking prostitutes at night, drinking after your hard work, feeling rewarded in the morning by smiling kids – “Than I always know why I am doing this, why I am here.” (You are here because nobody wants you somewehere else!!!) – and satisfaction by pretending, of course with an understanding smile, doing good.
“I am pleased to see how happy they are.” – After providing them food, after promising villages improvement, yes, indeed, just by your arrival. And this is it, end of the campaign, strategy and concept of your programm? The donors we will find after we interviewed them, after we shot them, published the images of starving and suffering families. How can we find donors without exposing them? Oh, you would have to activate your brain cells, by the way located not between your legs or up in your arse. – Argue, defend your concept, your idea, your vision of a better world (who doesn´t want to live in better world, even if it is just to feel not guilty) like this in the private economy sector, as a manager, they will kick you straight from the rooftop. Hilarious. Ridiculous. Contemptible. I feel disgusted. I know you never wanted to be a manager, you just attempt to help. Just don´t. Just don´t, if you missed the first level, knowing your strength and not developing by using the poorest, exploiting poverty for your advantage. There is no fucking list, there is no god, purify yourself with acid, dumbasses! Helping needs creativity. Surviving needs creativity, experience, investigations, exploring, pointing solutions, widen your knowledge, not your power and your influence, instead of sitting in your offices and blessing yourself, you ignorant lurkers. And dear directors of NGOs, how can you dare to recruit them, “Everyone is welcome who wants to help”, and if so, recruit some nurses first, who provide them pills, hard drugs, to domesticate their lunatic insanity, egotism and boast.

Dear volunteers, if you don´t receive in front proper information from your NGO, you choosed to improve your experience, for your CV or what you call soul, don´t, just don´t go there. If your idea is to do something, jsut something – so what do you offer, travel agency? – good, after school, before you enjoy the opportunity to study, to increase and manifest your illusions of a career, before you build your house and raise your kids, telling them on christmas your story… long time ago, when I travelled around the world and saw the madness, the impact, presenting them pictures of playing with their flip-flops, in their shabby shirts, but happy, happy happy happy – for a couple of days or maybe weeks, combined with pleasure, -moon parties, drunken nights, backpacker orgies, watch “Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas” and donate money to some beggars in your hometown, but don´t jump on a plane. Please!
If you miss to proof at first and realize, arriving and dealing with the useless and senseless mostly english teaching, ask yourself if you are a teacher or you want to play with kids and be a kid.
Teaching cambodian kids with books, with concepts made by the western world, reading with them fairytales about castles, knights and a princess, what the fuck for? In particular in a country like Cambodia, lost in cultural transformation after the brutal period of the Khmer Rouge, traumatized, beaten literally to down into the ground, burned to ashes, haunting history, falling past, wouldn´t it be an idea to explore with them their past, their identity, their future? Translating folk stories and songs? Oh, sorry, this is more work, true.
And you develop with them self-awareness, self-confidence, strength, so the kids, if they are forced by parents, relatives, villagers, to work, to sexual abusement or just not to be a kid, being treated like a dog, so they stand up for their life.
Or educate elderly how to set up their own business, support them with knowledge and ideas, a credit if necessary, I guess in the west we call this coaching. True, you would loose them as a client. No-go!
I only can endure this very grave problem NGO – and Siem Reap, with sarcasm.
I feel better know. Do you?
I could write filling pages with examples and ideas how to create sustainable structures. Ten minutes ago I left the taxi from the Manila Airport to my guesthouse. “Some of them are corrupt, most of them, they [politicans] just talk, promising everything to be elected, after they only ask how much commission you pay? If you don´t help poor people, they become rebels, of course. If you are hungry you do everything. Hunger makes people crazy. You have to give them a life. A sustainable life. So they are independent and built a future for their family and the next generation.” I kissed him, metaphorically speaking. He understands more than lots of peope I met in Siem Reap or elsewhere in Asia. Don´t get me wrong, I don´t exclude myself, but if you want to change something you have to start to listen and change yourself, otherwise you please fuck yourself and go home. Don´t marry. Don´t get a nice looking and humble servant for your retirement and to suck her out. Don´t get kids, please, breed your DNA dipping your dick into toilet water. Whatever, but don´t.
I don´t judge your efforts. I accuse you to be a lazy ignorant bastard. Educate yourself before you find yourself a tribe and teach them a lesson, to feel like the big kahuna. Watch your cheek, both of them, I´d love to beat you more than twice.