I am so fuckin off the planet.
Welcome my loved misanthrope!
Less I hate menkind, but myself in particular – always and forever, I promise, in good times as in bad, my love, my self-hate. Nowadays you are more a fetish, but I got still my lash and my knife at the ready. You sensational intimate point of escape.
Struggling since days with food-poisoning isn´t the best distraction at all. Prevents me from getting drunken, caned, scattered, lost as a merciful state of mind. It´s a run, masochistic run against the walls of morbidity. I know, look on the bright side. You have seen, see the impact of life every day, be grateful, enjoy your prosperity, in comparison to the poor writing this is apparent affluence, and share, share! That´s what I doing here! – So why you are such a minus-man. Don´t be such a negative answer to the world. What´s wrong, tramp? – The world is the answer! Who cares if I am a minus-man or not, I feel more in place, in the right place. Look around, being happy is not fittingly. Who is worrying about me now worries about the world. Well accepted. – Not at all. You such an… ah I don´t know, just decide what you want or you wanna live like this for the rest of your life? – How far is it to the end? – I don´t wanna talk anymore. Control yourself! – Control? That is not what I am here for. – That´s maybe why you shitting the whole place over. – Ah yeah, our body and mind is connected, every reaction are actions to an imbalance. We are all connected. – I was joking, asshole. – Me too. – Hell. – Welcome. – Can we just drink a beer? – I told you, I can´t. – You are pain in my brain. – Actually, it´s mine. I am just tolerating you, as a my guest, my playmate, my personal whore to worship, if I need to, like now. You are speaking, because I allowed you to. … Don´t be huffy, you know how this works, you always did. Don´t jeopardize your right to stay. … Ah fuck you. I don´t need you, I am not afraid of staying alone, trust me. Who are you anyway, a positive opposite, a creation of my darkest hours. You are nothing without me, not even a reflection. Listen to you, sounds of light. I can see you, even if you are hiding in the dark. Get out of there, this is not you are meant for, this place belongs to me. There is not enough space for both of us. It´s not light-time, ok. So get out of my chamber! You cover the dark, I can´t see anymore. Please. Please!
– Oh! So what about Cambodia? With its huge wooden threat of a multifunctional furniture ahead. Falling light tubes, erect white bedclothes, wiry bordered mattress, gulping swamply sleep and lightning passion, buried beyond strait green folded curtains, orange sundreams breaking through, my personel dusk, hunted by dawn. A hellish sound of a container´s closeness. A mind-breaker, a heart-shaker. Me, myself and Cambodia. Still love you, but why you are here?