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Weird feelings… I am sitting in the “Le Grand Cafe” near the Old Market in the center of Siem Reap, at a crossroads. At all corners touristic spots are located. I have a black coffee and an omelette, just to eat something, passed breakfst at the guesthouse, waked up early, prepared the, my room for the next weeks, did my workout. During the week, I expect again days without dinner, returning from the orphanage, falling asleep early. So, have to eat in front – and enjoy a non-rice plate. Left late the guesthouse for my shopping tour, yeah! Even if it´s just basic stuff like toothbrushes, toothpaste, tea, short pants, instant noodle soups… it´s shopping! And I really need something sweet, Snickers, I love you!
I am relaxed. Maybe first time on the road. Why rushing? – I kind of took the exit. Rushing for hotspots? I have 6 more weeks! Every day I pass one of the most impressive temples. And I live with locals, gonna join them most of the time when I go out for dinner, even if it´s all about eating, buffets, so not for a snack. I will visit a lot of non-hotspots. So why rushing?
It´s rainy season. The sunny star burns in firing myriads of dusty mirrors. Less tourism but quite a lot. Siem Reap has changed and still changes. It´s not Siem Reap I remember. It´s renewed, rebuilt. Shops, Cafes, Restaurants, Hotels, Resort, can´t be huge and luxury enough, New Market, New Night Market, Pub Street and a golf course.
So why i am so superrelaxed? It´s such a grand feeling, that i am not one of them, I don´t have to be and I can´t, so no efforts to resist. I am a volunteer! Not that I am porud of or feel any other selfish emtions about that. I am just not one of them. There is a invisible haze between. I am not a tourist, I am not local, I am a hidden effect. Noboy knows, but me, and that´s relaxing me in such a super way.
And do I feel guilty about having a 7.30 $ breakfast instead of stayong with the kids at the orphanage, spending time, the priceless value of money? No, I don´t. And I think that´s the way I can do a good job here – don´t like the expression “work”. – Or do I feel guilt?
And what´s about the beggars? FUCK! I need an ATM. Still, a tourist and I don´t care.